Episode 241
Co-Dependent Leadership
August 7

Leader Notes
Co-Dependent Definition: Emotional or psychological reliance on a partner.
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Tendency of leaders to set-up their leadership as co-dependent.
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Small Ways: Can’t make a decision because the Boss it out of town.
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Big Ways: “We left the Church because the pastor left, it’s just what you do”
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Issue: The test of great leadership is what happens when you’re absent.
Why Do We Do That?
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Kindest Way: We don’t even realize we’re doing it and we don’t know how not to.
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Where tools like vision, values, systems come into play when they’re being used to empower, not create bureaucracy.
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Realest Way: We feel like imposters, we’re not secure in our role, we want to feel needed.
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Acknowledge that it feels good to need your opinion to make a decision.
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Acknowledge that it feels good for people to leave because you’re no longer there because it’s not the same.
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Point
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We want to feel wanted.
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When a leader leads to feel wanted, they become needed, and create co-dependency.
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Co-Dependent Leadership
The Impact of Co-Dependent Leadership
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Hurts longevity. No momentum beyond current tenure.
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Cripples Development. Think of like a parent who needs to be needed by their kids. The result is the kids never become adults. Here: The followers never become leaders in their own right.
Antidote
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You antidote to co-dependent leadership is security.
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Security is built on:
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Awareness of Gifting.
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Don’t need validation of your competency.
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Security is built on testing and trial, not just affirmation.
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Amateurs want to know they did well, professionals want to know how they can get better. Donald Miller.
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Commitment to Calling, not assignment.
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Security will never exist if all you have is a job.
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What I do supercedes the person I’m doing it with’s opinion of me.
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Effectiveness that is built on your willingness to adapt.
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Key is listening and adapting.
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People will tell you how to lead them, not because it’s a perfect match.
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Conclusion
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The danger of co-dependent leadership.
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Cultivate Security.
Leading Hope with Kevin Jack
Your influence will lead people somewhere, lead them towards Hope.
Love this! Goal-setting is important along with benchmarks, etc.